Dating, Lord Voldemort Style

So I started dating again. This isn’t a formal, public announcement. It’s just one of those things that I felt like I should start doing a while back. But, darn, now I feel the need to explain myself. As if I didn’t already feel like my life is on display for so many people to question and judge, seeking the companionship of single men is one more way for me to feel insecure about how my actions align with others’ expectations.

I haven’t gone out that much, but the little bit I have has opened my eyes wide to how very complicated it is.

God has given me all the right tools and talents to be successful at this endeavor. Like Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix, now I’m fighting with a weapon (or two) I didn’t have the last time around.

With 40 years under my belt, I have much more confidence than I did the last time I was available for dating. I wholeheartedly believe that I am a good and fun person to spend a few hours with! I’ve been told that confidence is attractive in a woman…but only to an extent.

I’m also much more full of good adventure ideas and the cash flow to support them. I have a giant list of places to go, things to see, venues to explore… just awaiting someone to share them with me. But going back to the confidence issue, I’m not afraid to do things by myself and I’m not waiting around for someone cute to get out and see the world. I’ve also been told that independence is attractive in a woman…but only to an extent.

Another weapon in my arsenal is the fact that I have become profoundly self-aware over the years, which means I recognize when I’m allowing my stupid insecure tendencies to get in the way of having genuine, interesting interactions with others. But with that self-awareness comes a tendency to overanalyze behaviors, identify performance gaps, and strategize solutions. Ad nauseam. Whether in my professional, financial, educational, or volunteer service life, I’m used to setting goals & objectives, creating project plans, delegating responsibilities, following up on milestones, holding others accountable, and getting results. As I have tried to apply the same principles to pursuing attractive single men, I’ve run into a few…complications…with my tried-and-true processes.

Just like Lord Voldemort, I have failed to account for the human element in these interactions—human emotions, thoughts, insecurities, and sometimes unpredictable behavior. Lord Voldemort failed to account for the impact of Harry’s goodwill and care in behalf of his friends; that foiled he-who-must-not-be-named at every turn. Likewise, I seem to be forgetting that men are, well, human. Not to mention forgetting realities caused by daily life (like, people are truly busy at this stage of life).

Secret weapons and secret frustrations notwithstanding, the dating experience thus far has been everything it purported to be: fun.